What is the difference between authoritarian and authoritative parenting

This type of parenting allows for the child and parent to talk more openly before making decisions. It allows the child to have a little more freedom and autonomy while still getting the structure and guidance they need. The truth, however, is that a lot of parents have difficulty figuring out just what parenting style to use with their children.

However, authoritative parenting has been proven to produce more successful, well-adjusted children overall. So, what exactly is authoritarian parenting? A parent who follows an authoritarian type of approach sets strict rules.

They tend to set firm expectations for their child and they anticipate these expectations and rules to be followed, always. They tend to be less warm and nurturing than other parents and may not provide a lot of options or choices for their children.

Children raised in a household in an authoritarian style of household may have low self-esteem and seem shy or even fearful around other people. They have difficulty in social settings, difficulty making choices on their own, and tend to conform to those around them. There sometimes is a correlation between children that have anxiety or depression and the authoritarian parenting style. These children may be aggressive outside of their own home, as well, because of thoughts or feelings that may not be able to be adequately expressed at home with their parents.

But in the long run, authoritarian parenting can cause the child to begin acting out, to become depressed, or to withdraw. Employing a strategy of too much power and control can lead to a whole lot more problems than it solves for these types of parents and the children who live in this type of household.

Though it may sound very similar in name to authoritarian parenting, authoritative parenting is a very different and far healthier approach. In this method of parenting, there is open communication and understanding between the parent and the child. The child will be listened to and their independence is encouraged.

There are limits, consequences, and expectations but these are more lenient and allow for greater independence and freedom for the child. Discipline is also considered fair by authoritative parents and is consistently applied in the same manner and for the same infractions. Unlike authoritarian parenting, there is consistency in consequences for rule-breaking.

There are expressions of warmth and love without the requirement for rule-following. Children who are raised with authoritative parents tend to be happier, healthier, and more emotionally developed and in-tune than their peers who were brought up with authoritarian parents.

They will frequently have better self-regulation skills. They tend to have good social skills, individuality, and self-confidence when it comes to expressing themselves and trying new things. Authoritarian parents are famous for saying, "Because I said so," when a child questions the reasons behind a rule. They are not interested in negotiating and their focus is on obedience.

They also don't allow kids to get involved in problem-solving challenges or obstacles. Instead, they make the rules and enforce the consequences with little regard for a child's opinion. Authoritarian parents may use punishments instead of discipline. So rather than teach a child how to make better choices, they're invested in making kids feel sorry for their mistakes. Children who grow up with strict authoritarian parents tend to follow rules much of the time. But, their obedience comes at a price.

Children of authoritarian parents are at a higher risk of developing self-esteem problems because their opinions aren't valued. They may also become hostile or aggressive. Rather than think about how to do things better in the future, they often focus on the anger they feel toward their parents.

Since authoritarian parents are often strict, their children may grow to become good liars in an effort to avoid punishment. If those statements sound familiar, you may be an authoritative parent. Authoritative parents have rules and they use consequences, but they also take their children's opinions into account. They validate their children's feelings, while also making it clear that the adults are ultimately in charge. Authoritative parents invest time and energy into preventing behavior problems before they start.

They also use positive discipline strategies to reinforce positive behavior, like praise and reward systems. Researchers have found kids who have authoritative parents are most likely to become responsible adults who feel comfortable expressing their opinions. Children raised with authoritative discipline tend to be happy and successful.

They're also more likely to be good at making decisions and evaluating safety risks on their own. If those statements sound familiar, you might be a permissive parent. Permissive parents are lenient. They often only step in when there's a serious problem. They're quite forgiving and they adopt an attitude of "kids will be kids. They might give privileges back if a child begs or they may allow a child to get out of time-out early if he promises to be good.

Permissive parents usually take on more of a friend role than a parent role. They often encourage their children to talk with them about their problems, but they usually don't put much effort into discouraging poor choices or bad behavior. They may exhibit more behavioral problems as they don't appreciate authority and rules.

They often have low self-esteem and may report a lot of sadness. They're also at a higher risk for health problems, like obesity, because permissive parents struggle to limit junk food intake.

They are even more likely to have dental cavities because permissive parents often don't enforce good habits, like ensuring a child brushes his teeth.

Do any of these statements sound familiar? If those statements sound familiar, you might be an uninvolved parent. Authoritative parents, on the other hand, are warm and responsive.

By approaching their children in this manner, they can foster positive attachments. This is often associated with higher levels of confidence. Authoritative parenting means exerting control over your own emotions to avoid conflict escalation. Rather than reprimanding children for outbursts, parents start calm and constructive discussions. Studies show that kids who grow up in a supportive environment tend to be happier and exhibit more positive behaviors. Authoritative and authoritarian parenting styles are similar in one way.

They both have high expectations and strict rules. The difference lies in rule enforcement. Authoritarian parents do not allow their children to ask questions. They expect children to follow rules in compliant silence. This attitude often causes children to be anxious and insecure. It can also lead to misunderstandings when rules are not entirely clear. Authoritative parenting involves a warm and nurturing approach. Parents explain rules in detail and support them with reasons.

In turn, children learn to think critically, communicate with confidence, and feel included. Authoritative parenting involves holistic consequences, such as computer restrictions or limited activity. Authoritarian parenting often resorts to demeaning or harsh punishment. Parents exert more control over their children but are less effective in their follow-through.

On the other hand, authoritative parents often set higher standards. They are more consistent when following through with discipline. Parents who default to an authoritarian strategy often lose control of their emotions. They may resort to yelling, name-calling, or scolding to achieve order and control. Communication is unidirectional, with the parent doing the speaking and the child remaining silent. Authoritative parents often set their emotions aside.

They look at each situation as a learning opportunity. These parents encourage open discussion, which helps their children feel supported and included.

Authoritarian parents try to over-control or micromanage their children. Control over behavior is often not enough. They need to have emotional control as well to feel secure in their parental role. This parenting style is like a dictatorship in that it relies on fear. It is a one-way street. Whatever the parent says is right and should be listened to and believed without question or protest.

This is different from authoritative parenting, where standards remain high, but children have leeway to make their own choices and mistakes. Control is not the ultimate goal. Parents focus on fostering independence and the ability to self-regulate, only offering corrections when necessary. They set expectations and wait for them to be followed with obedience. This has the potential to backfire in more ways than one. Children raised under authoritarian parenting tend to be insecure and self-deprecating.

They are prone to bullying, disruptive behaviors in school, and depression. Some find academic success, but in general, their performance is lacking. Children with authoritative parents often achieve higher grades and success at school.

This is likely because parent involvement correlates with higher performance. Kids with authoritative parents also tend to have better self-esteem and mental health. They show high levels of resilience, picking themselves up with ease after a setback. Many studies support authoritative parenting as the more effective parenting strategy.